Renew A Steadfast Spirit Within Me
The Lord has been so generous in walking me through so many lessons, that He knew I would soon need on days like today.
Today I'm drawing from all of them. Today I'm wrestling with feelings of frustration, disappointment, sadness, disregarded, bitterness, anger. I could go on. The prayer of my heart tonight is Psalm 51:10, that the Lord would see me and do the work of repairing the part of my spirit that is disquieted within me. To make my spirit "steadfast" implies the act of directing or making something ready for a specific purpose. In a theological sense, it often refers to God's sovereign action in establishing His purposes and plans.
Hasn't He prepared me for dealing with all of these emotions recently? Isn't He kind and gracious to have given me this as a practice run at applying all these hard lessons? It's almost like an open book test, isn't it? I have to smile even while feeling so heavy hearted.
So let me review, what He has taught me.
Yesterday, it was learning to trust Him and to be willing to accept whatever comes my way, knowing I can and should turn to Him. First rather than later. Well, I've bombed that last part. But better late than never...
Here I am, Father, coming to you.
What do you have in store for me in this? I already see the benefits this far. You. You are what you have for me. You give me all of you and freely. And I am humbled that you love me this much. And so intentionally and tenderly. You are near and its precious.
You encourage me with your Psalms. Psalm 16 called to me just now, as my heart declared verse 6 deep inside. I couldn't remember exactly where the verse was located, but I remembered the words: "The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance." This comes from the familiarity I've grown to have in the hours we've spent together recently. I consume Your word, and it feeds me in my time of need, as I go back and reread the entire Psalm, in its entirety, it is a balm to my heart this evening.
I still remember whenever I recently read this Psalm not too long ago, in fact it was March 7th. I learned that the Levites weren't given a portion of the land. You told them, "I am your inheritance"
How I wish people could experience what You and I have, for themselves. How I wish I could transfer this experience to them so they could know it.
I know you're speaking to my heart. The way You lead me is so remarkable. Even in experiencing it, it's often unbelievable.
Looking up verses that reference all that I understand to be true to share them I come to Deuteronomy 10: 8-9 "At that time the Lord set apart the tribe of Levi to carry the ark of the covenant of the Lord to stand before the Lord to minister to him and to bless in his name, to this day. Therefore, Levi has no portion or inheritance with his brothers. The Lord is his inheritance, as the Lord your God said to him."
The verse in Deuteronomy takes me back to 2 Chronicles 29, where I marked it as my #testimony back in August 2024 in my ESV journaling Bible. This section of Scripture is very dear to me. It's a rebuke. A reminder. A guidepost. I firm reminder of what's at stake.
Let's address that fact that as a believer I am now of the tribe of Levi, the tribe of priests. 1 Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light."
Upon salvation You gifted me with your Holy Spirit which I carry inside my body. The ark was where the testimony (your law) was kept. Through the indwelling of your Spirit, you have written Your law on my heart. Jeremiah 31:31-32 & Ezekiel 36:26-27
Through dedicated devotion time, I stand in His presence. I resolve He is worthy of my time and devotion.
Through consistent, daily, expectant and hopeful prayer and obedience, I minister
And through Christ, I have You and all that you are as my glorious, imperishable inheritance.
1 Peter 1:3-5 "All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. It is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance—an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see."
Ephesians 1:11 "Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan."
In advance....
I'm still sad. I still feel like I'm on the brink of a colossal melt-down ugly cry-fest. But I'm also secure because I know You are sovereign. And I love the verse in Isaiah that states you equipped Cyrus, a pagan king, who didn't even know/recognize You as Yahweh, to accomplish Your plan and purpose. If You equip even those who don't know You to fulfill You purpose, how much more so will you equip me to be able to stand/endure all that this life has in store. You are sovereign. You are the True Judge. You are Good. You are God.
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