I've been working on memorizing Scripture again. I did this several years ago. It's such a refreshing and nourishing way to spend time with the LORD, especially when you pick verses dealing with areas that you need encouragement in.
One of the biggest struggles in my faith is a dirty four letter word: F-E-A-R! Because honestly, there are so many commandments and admonishments in Scripture that I fail at daily. Even when I'm trying really hard not to. Some things just come so naturally, that I flub up without even realizing it, or I realize it immediately afterwards but not in the moment. And honestly, sometimes, I take grace for granted, knowingly, then feel awful, right after. Like when you're on a diet and you know you shouldn't eat that piece of cake, but the urge is so great and you do it anyway, but immediately feel regret. I mean, if we're truly honest with ourselves, we can be pretty awful inherently. We know we'll be healthier if we stop eating so much junk food, but we do it anyway. And we know our lives will be better if we do the right thing, but we choose wrongly anyway. We justify, both with food indulgence and less than perfect behaviors. James 4:17 tells us "So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin." We are without excuse. And then fear sets in. Verses like Matthew 5:29 echo in my ear "If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell." But then I'm reminded that if there was any possible way to get it all right there would have been no need for Christ. But yet this eternal and internal tug-of-war plagues me.
Hell is a scary thought. Regardless if it's "us" burning for all eternity in agonizing pain OR the alternative theory of the fire itself burning for all eternity and we just "burn up" and then the agony is done. Neither of those sound appealing. Is Hell allegory or literal? Either way, I don't care to experience it.
A few verses of Scripture I have placed in my "to be memorized" pile to help me see clearly and deal with this emotion of fear:
"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." - 1 John 4:18
That verse used to cause me panic. I used to read it and think that because I was feeling fear, I must not actually be saved. I was on the outside looking in.
But then as I began reading more Scripture I started seeing words, phrases, and themes, being repeated.
"The LORD will perfect that which concerns me." - Psalm 138:8
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith..." - Hebrews 12:2
"But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you." - 1 Peter 5:10
"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." - Philippians 1:6
"For by Grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:8-10
"This is what the LORD says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, 'We will not walk in it." - Jeremiah 6:16
"Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you." - Hosea 10:12
"The LORD's unfailing love and mercy still continue, fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise.
The LORD is all I have, and so in him I put my hope." - Lamentations 3:22-24
You see, we can't do it on our own. We are still meant to try, while we are covered by his grace and unfailing love. Being honest with ourselves about our shortcomings.
Did you know the Hebrew word for prayer, tefillah, means “self-judgment” and “introspection.” Prayer is meant to be an introspective process. The reason why we pray is not always to change what G‑d had intended for us, but for us to get a better picture of true reality. We might enter the prayers thinking about all that we need and want, but we are meant to finish the prayers with a new realization of all that G‑d does for us and how little we may actually deserve. (taken from Chabad.org)
"The greatest sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. God will gladly accept a heart that is broken because of sadness over sin." - Psalm 51:17
There will still be earthly consequences from our lack of righteousness. "And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that address you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." - Hebrews 12:5-6
I will admit verses like these below still give me pause:
"Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole [duty] of man." - Ecclesiastes 12-13
or
"Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose." - Philippians 2:12-13
I think that often times there's a fine line between fear and reverence. And sometimes our spiritual walk can be scary. The importance is that we don't give up hope. We're a work in progress. The Holy Spirit has been called our "helper" and "counselor" but it's important that we do not "grieve" him.
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Ephesians 4:30-32
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me." - Psalm 51:10-12
Amen.
